Sacrifice of the Soul and the Meaning of Kidneys and Heart

Weakness is often produced by the divine disciplines. 'He brought them'—he says—'them'—evidently the Hebrews—'in gold and silver, and there was no weakness in their tribes.' For when God leads anyone in gold, that is to say, in a pure mind, and in silver—a tested word—there is no weakness. Those led thus do not suffer weakness, but are strong 'in the one strengthening' them. And as the apostle says, 'I can do all things' (Phil 4:13), he who is able to do all things does not suffer weakness; so also each of the wise men who is strong does not suffer weakness. For how could he who says to God in Psalm 92, 'I will love you, O Lord, my strength' (Ps 92:10), suffer weakness? He who hopes in wealth will surely suffer weakness.

And even if the name of weakness signifies sickness—for it does mean—this is what it says: hoping in the Lord, I shall not be sick according to the soul, I am always being healthy; for 'the one keeping the commandment, this one is healthy.' This is not spoken concerning physical health; for many keeping a commandment suffer sickness, and many transgressing commandments are healthy. 2 Test me, O Lord, and try me (Ps 26:2). Behold the boldness; 'refine my kidneys' and see if there is injustice in me. No one is called to examine such hidden things, knowing the marrow, unless he has much boldness. Therefore, some people, because of the excess of the boldness of the one speaking boldly, take the psalm for the man of the Savior. And it has been said to us already many times, that the achievements of the Savior touch the man and all perfect men. 'Test me, O Lord, and try me.' Bring me into the contest. Just as a capable athlete might say to the contest-setter: 'Test me and try me, if I am such a man as I promise.'

To test God in this way means that he is worthy to happen to receive testing from Him. 'But just as we have been tested by God to be believed in the gospel,' 'we were pleased to share with you not only the gospel, but also our own souls' (1 Thess 2:8). Someone shares his own soul with someone when he prepares him according to the quality he possesses. Not only, he says, do we have the readiness to share the gospel with you, but also our own souls. If anyone becomes an imitator of the apostle and has all his disposition and practice, he transfers...

The soul of the apostle is received. This can be grasped easily: for 'we are ready even to risk our lives' because 'he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for one another'. If we, when placing our lives for those we love, were placing some intellectual or allegorical soul, it would be different; but we do this by imitating Jesus, who truly laid down a human and not an allegorical soul.

“Purify my kidneys and my heart. For your mercy is before my eyes, and I have rejoiced in your truth” (Psalm 51:10-14). Behold that through all things he trusts in his own purity. Since these things seem to be beyond human power, he immediately says: “for your mercy is before me” (Psalm 51:14). I know that even if I propose good things, even if I hasten to run after them, if you do not show mercy, I will not be perfected. Therefore, “I have rejoiced in your truth” (Psalm 51:14). One need not be self-deprecating here when the subject is truth. I recall someone saying: if you are asked, “Are you a virgin?”, say: “Because of God, I have been a virgin until now, and I wish to remain a virgin until now through faith, and entirely.” He who rejoices in the truth of God has the mercy of God before his eyes. Having the one who cooperates and perfects before his eyes, he will speak boldly toward those who have already been made upright by him. Therefore I say: “Purify my kidneys and my heart, for your mercy is before my eyes” (Psalm 51:10-14).

The kidneys and the heart are joined together in many places in Scripture: “God tests hearts and kidneys” (Psalm 7:11). “And even until night my kidneys instructed me” (Psalm 16:7). And just as when we hear 'heart', it does not mean the part of the body, but rather the one who has it sees God; again: “Hear me, you who have lost your heart”, no one loses this bodily part in such a way—if not, if God casts out a stony heart and places a fleshy one in its stead, we understand the intellect. Along with this heart, the so-called kidneys are not parts of the body. It is said that the seminal women are first composed there, and from there they easily pass into the sexual organs. Therefore, the kidneys are procreative and ministers of seed.