The Integrity of the Saint and Divine Testing

He did not recognize the evil. Understand, then, that even a third level of thought can be expressed by another orator established in Amos, the second of the twelve prophets. Concerning those who squander and are lovers of pleasure, and who rejoice in this very thing in the delights of life, he says: 'Those sleeping on ivory beds, those squandering upon their couches, those shouting at the sounds of instruments and anointing themselves with the first myrrh, those drinking filtered wine, they considered it as standing permanent, not as fleeing.'

For they judged the delights of life to be adjacent, present, and continuous. Therefore he says that those marveling at well-being, such as being healthy, being rich, or reaching heights, do not consider that these things are being distributed in such a way that they do not know them, just as it is impossible to recognize a path when the sea is surging, or an eagle flying swiftly because it seeks prey. In truth, the passage of delights and human things is rapid, as can be learned from what was said concerning wealth by the Psalmist: 'Do not fear when a man prospers and when the glory of his house increases, for he shall not take all things in his dying, nor shall the glory of his house descend with him' (Psalm 49:16-17).

If I say, 'I will take pains in speaking, bowing my face and sighing,' a mark of magnanimity is shown in these things. For he says that even if, having received a concept of those things which are unpleasant, I say something about them, I immediately forget them, not being enslaved by them, but occupying myself with the contemplation of virtue. Similar to this is what is said by David, that 'I forgot to eat my bread' (Psalm 63:11). For the memory of divine and heavenly things brings forgetfulness to those who are being overwhelmed by them. And if, he says, I also sigh, doing this while bowing my face, through which in a certain way he shows his worship toward God; and even if he says this, he performs the painful things toward his own heart...

They are found in a good state according to the blessed Paul: 'troubled in all things, but not in distress; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed' (2 Cor 4:8). I shake with all my limbs. This is evident, according to the sense, that they understand. For no limb of his was found healthy; for 'from feet' even 'to head' he was struck (Job 7:4).

And if you say that all his limbs had a familiarity toward him, who were also shaken in such a way as to either leave him or in some way attempt to distance themselves, as if he suffers these things because of sin, consider this. For I know that you will not declare me innocent. The moderation of the saint is known through this, and a great gratitude. For he says, that becoming my examiner, being precise—for you are God—you will not declare me innocent.

For even if he said, 'I know that I will appear righteous,' yet he knew and is persuaded that, as a tester before God, 'there is no star pure in his sight' (Ps 8:3) and he himself makes it clear. Such is what the blessed Paul says, writing: 'I do not know myself' (1 Cor 4:6). Then, not giving credit to himself, he proceeds: 'but not in this am I justified, but He who judges me is the Lord' (1 Cor 4:4).

And this saint also clearly knows the weakness of human nature, saying: 'exceedingly we were burdened beyond strength, so that we were driven to despair, even of life. But we ourselves have received in ourselves the sentence of death, so that we might not trust in ourselves, but in God.' And even if the saints suffer in their afflictions, they have within themselves the sentence, so that they may give the trust to God and not to themselves; as this same blessed one says: I know that my being innocent is not from myself, not with you cooperating, just as the wise Paul says, 'not I, but the grace with me' (2 Cor 12:9), and the holy David: 'I was troubled and I did not speak' (Ps 39:9). Since I am impious, why did I not die?